After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
