Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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