One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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