You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
