He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
