I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
