I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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