how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize