so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
