if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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