Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
