i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
