I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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