Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize