Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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