To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
