he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im holly from the hills drunk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
