i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
