Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm really busy with my period
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