This is not my ceiling
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
