Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
