Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize