Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
