It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize