So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
His nipple licking is glorious
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