The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
