So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
