My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
