Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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