I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
