he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
