it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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