We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
