You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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