I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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