Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
