why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
