from now on my penis is your penis
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
