Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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