awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize