with your own penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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