He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize