I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
