fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
