come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize