11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
