we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
