yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It all started with a game of naked twister.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
