just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
