He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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