i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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