Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
