Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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