Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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