found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
