I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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