just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
