Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
