what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
